“What you acknowledge in your brother, you are acknowledging in yourself and what you share, strengthens.” A Course In Miracles
As a gay man, I often find that I am comparing myself to others, particularly other men in my community. When I assess that they are better than me in some way, I play small most of the time. Other times, I will get all Mean Girls and bash the crap out of them. This reminds me of when people say that when you are pointing the finger at someone, you have four more pointing back at you. This was further brought home when I was recently listening to a lecture by Gabrielle Bernstein in which she stated that when we judge people, we are actually acknowledging an unrecognized aspect of our shadow self. Upon reading the italicized quote from A Course In Miracles, something dawned on me. When I am comparing myself to a hot and/or successful guy, what if I am actually acknowledging the good within me that I am not recognizing. In other words, I am acknowledging an unrecognized aspect of my Higher Self.
A Course in Miracles states we only have one problem, which are our thoughts of separation from God and subsequently, each other. Thoughts that other people are better than me because of their six pack abs or ability to pick up dudes or chiseled jawline are actually acknowledgments of their beauty. While I may not have those exact physical things, I do have a lot of things in my life that are beautiful. Some of them are physical and some of them go beyond the external.
It’s crazy how I compare my insides by other people’s outsides and play small in the world because of this. However, the one thing that people constantly say about me is that they love my energy, and this comes from people who barely know me. And, as attractive as a set of six-pack abs or chiseled jawline can be, the most attractive quality about any person is the energy that they exude in the world. I have met many physically attractive individuals who have very dark energy to them. This significantly decreases the level of attractiveness in them.
So I invite you all (and myself) to take a journey with me from this day forward. When you acknowledge the beauty in another person, I want you to take a moment and acknowledge the beauty in yourself. Once we do that, we can share our beauty in the world and increase it. As you share it, so it strengthens. Namaste.